After two miscarriages trying to get pregnant and have a viable pregnancy consumed me.  After getting pregnant the first time, when we first started trying, I had no idea the emotional roller coaster I would be on.  It was a dark time for me, trying to get pregnant, while what seemed like, everyone around me was pregnant and having healthy babies.  After two years of trying we were finally blessed with a healthy viable pregnancy in 2010!

We were very discouraged when our insurance was no longer in network with the hospital and MD we loved.  As we were interviewing doulas we discovered a whole new world of support for those preparing for their birthing journey.  Dennis and I both wanted to plan our birthing journey very consciously and not go into labor and delivery ready to let the medical team direct.  As the doula we decided to bring onto our team heard us talk about our wishes, and my VERY BIG desire to stay away from a big needle, stating I was more scared of a needle in my spine than giving birth, she suggested a midwife.  We met with some midwives and found the perfect midwife for our needs.  She was amazing!! We had an incredible team in place for our birthing journey.

I feel blessed that I had a wonderful, healthy, and constant pregnant glow.  I LOVED being pregnant; in fact, it’s one of the happiest times of my life.  It was such an incredible and empowering experience.  I was able to exercise during my entire pregnancy and ran up until I was 8 months pregnant when it became too uncomfortable for me.  I did some yoga, knowing the many benefits, but couldn’t find a prenatal yoga practice in Kansas City that allowed me to get my heart rate up and feel like I was getting a workout in, as I knew giving birth was going to be the most challenging workout of my life!

Two days after my husband and I had celebrated our anniversary, labor began in a way I had NOT expected.  I had been to my midwife earlier in the day and it seemed I was going to be pregnant awhile longer. I remember going to bed that night and I was so excited because my cat Loki had not spooned with me since my husband and I had changed sides of the bed.  I felt a ‘ping’ about 11:00pm and thought “oh man, I have to go to the bathroom again, but don’t want to get up because Loki is finally snuggling with me.”  I got up and suddenly my water had burst and there was water everywhere, it was like a pipe bursting!!! Dennis sat straight up in bed and I went to all fours.  I thought “oh my gosh, I’m going to be that ER show when all of a sudden baby is just going to come flying out.” (Needless to say that didn’t happen).  I got down on all 4’s and Dennis had to cover me up as I was so cold.  I called my doula rather anxious stating this was not how I had expected labor to happen.  I kept telling her fluid just keeps coming out and told her I was like a dog on hands and knees, we both laughed, calming me a bit.  She suggested I stay home and rest since it was clear fluid.  I spoke to the midwife on call who said I could either come in or stay at home; however they would get a room ready for me. We decided to stay at home because I wasn’t having any contractions.  We slept on and off until about 5:30am when we started walking up and down the dark morning sidewalk.  Contractions were about every 8 minutes and I would hold onto Dennis’ shoulders and lean over to breathe through the contractions.  Around 7:00am I received a call from the midwife inquiring how I was doing.  We were preparing to head to the hospital and she encouraged we come in since my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. I called my doula who said she would meet us there.

When I arrived at the hospital at 8:20am, my midwife was there and we got settled into our birthing room where we would stay for the duration.  I was a little dehydrated and Aubrey needed to perk up a bit so IV fluids were started.  I was only 1 ½ centimeters dilated and 90% effaced.  I knew I had a long ways to go and was a little concerned knowing how long it had been since my water broke.  I had a fair amount of back labor and found it to be helpful when my husband or my doula would apply pressure on my lower back as I worked through contractions.  We had taken Bradley classes, so I worked on visualization- a butterfly bush- what it looked like, the smell, the feel, where it was located in our backyard.  In addition to walking around A LOT, I was on all fours, left side, lying down, sitting up, and squatting.  At 1:30pm I was 4 centimeters dilated, 100% effaced, from this point on my midwife stayed with us in our room.  Unfortunately the room I was in didn’t have a tub, however being in the shower and having my husband spraying down my back with the nozzle allowed me to relax.  While in the shower around 5:10pm I started making grunting noises and my midwife checked me, I was 8-9 centimeters so it wasn’t time to push yet.  At 5:40pm I was about 9 ½ centimeters and with a real stretchy, thin cervix, my midwife felt I could push past the cervix with some help, so it was time for baby Aubrey to come into the world!! Aubrey was not in optimal position to come down so I had to get in several different positions to better position her.  I was getting really worn out with pushing (later learning I was not breathing in a way that helped this process), at one point I told my team I didn’t think I could do it anymore, I was too tired.  My midwife was my cheerleader at this point, she looked me directly in the eyes and said it was time, Aubrey needed to come out.  There was something in her eyes that I knew I had to dig deep and feel my mama bear power serge!!! At 7:00pm Aubrey was born with Dennis lending a hand to help catch her.  Aubrey was placed on my chest and Dennis cut the cord.  Aubrey had to have a little bit of fluid removed and was then placed back on my chest for skin to skin bonding.  I had a small clitoris tear that had to be stitched.  My nipples were flat and Aubrey had difficulty latching but finally did (another post later on breastfeeding, something that was WAY more difficult than birth!)  We called our family, my dad, mom, and stepdad arrived to meet their first granddaughter.  Watching them hold Aubrey filled my heart with pure love.  Mom brought dinner and a bottle of wine to celebrate.  The joy was immense!! I LOVED giving birth, the incredible feeling of strength, empowerment, and the belief in my mind and body was mind blowing! I could not have asked for a better team to support, cheer, educate, and respect our wishes.  I trusted our team 100% and trusted that if something needed to be done outside our birth plan, it was for the safety of Aubrey and me.  I feel so blessed our birthing journey was beautiful and just as we had wished for it.